I'm Gary Brodsky.

I get letters and phone calls from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining and asking: "Just what am I doing wrong," because THEY, the Nice Guy have failed repeatedly in relationships.

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys are very insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for women to gain acceptance and attention.

Nice Guys exude insecurity: a big target for the loser women of the world. There are women out there who are "users" - just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on Nice Guys, stroke their egos, take them for a ride, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them are abusive and negative.

Self-confident, caring, decent, hot women find Nice Guys to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go way overboard. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong. They either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, or they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends," in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask a woman out for a "date" but end up perpetually waiting in the wings as bolder, more self-confident men get the woman.

Nice Guys are always asking the wrong questions, and looking for approval - a proven ticket to disaster.

Nice Guys want, need and expect, but will never come out and say it. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of compromising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in." When Nice Guys feel a woman doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her," as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr, or a child. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as HER and that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." There is no "special her."

More than loving a woman in his life, a Nice Guy obsesses over women: "She is my Life, my only source of happiness. . . ." What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Doesn't work in reality - EVER!

Nice Guys tend to go after "hard luck" cases. They pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers." A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is always ruined by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for love. And to make matters worse, women can sense this insecurity, so is it any wonder why women don't like them?

But all is not lost! You just have to LIKE yourself first. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible. And Gary's 12 Step Program to Becoming Super-Confidence with Women will show you how!